Monthly Archives: December 2005

Journey in Meditation

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Whoa… great to find another who is also venturing on the path of meditation and blogging about it! [via] I can totally relate to the whole

“I wanted to fidget and stand up. I really, really wanted to stop.”

This brought back such vivid memories of my first encounter of sitting mediation at a local zen center. I’m still enduring and I’m pushing through and many times I feel like I want to stop. I guess the thing that helps me is I have variety in my routine. I take up to 4 various postures during my meditation with three of them being standing.

You have the basic sitting zazen type posture, then you have the wuji standing posture where the hands are at the sides of your body. Next there’s the slight variation on that where the arms make a circular type of shape near your dantien, then you have the universal post posture where you hands are at about heart height and make a round shape.. hard to describe them all with words but check out “Warriors of Stillness” or the “Way of Energy” books for a lot more details on the postures.

I believe this is one way I “cheat” by alternating stances and postures. When I start to get restless, I just change postures, change shapes and then I focus on trying to relax different parts of my body.

If you’re tired then sleep

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I’ve encountered the whole “better to sleep if feel tired” thing before but I guess I just don’t learn my lesson. The zhan zhuang was pretty good last night and not too many issues there. The use of PocketDoan has really helped out dramatically as my attention isn’t focused on time anymore. However, when I started during the sitting session I was good for like 5 mins and then just wanted to sleep.

I know I should be sleeping but if I do, then I won’t get any training time in. Maybe I should bump out the zazen at night and focus on the zhan zhuang, silk reeling form combo I did before. I’m not exactly sure how, but lately I’ve been cutting back on the silk reeling and forms practice to focus on meditation. I hit my 10 hrs of meditation point last night and I’m hyped! That’s 10% of my way through!!!

I need to get back into the groove like before where I did standing/training well before bed instead of cutting things so close now. It’s hard when last night’s drive home took 2.5 hrs as opposed to the 1 hr due to the weather!

Taiji’s Hidden Agenda??

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You have got to be kidding me:

In order to maintain an effective control over the people, a Chinese army general developed a solution. He created a psychological virus to subdue people from rebellion against the government and called it Tai Chi Quan.

… Tai Chi does not promote longevity, but rather the opposite.

No matter what anyone says, the proof is there. Master Lu also reveals another unthinkable and shocking effect of Tai Chi — the adoption of homosexuality. His website provides further details on how Cedars-Sinai’s five elements study makes this connection obvious. (http://www.masterlu.com)

source: Tai Chi’s Ancient Hidden Agenda

WTF?!?!! where does this guy get his info from! This HAS to be some kind of joke or something b/c if not, well ….

meditation pains

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During last night’s sitting session, I started to experience a lot of pain in my right kua. At first, I was just trying to hold the posture, but I think over time, I’m using my legs to try and hold my body upright which could be causing a lot of tension in my kua region. The pain got so bad that I had to stop about 10 mins into the session! I walked around a bit, stretched and then tried it again. This time I only lasted about 10 mins before it hit me again.

I’m starting to wonder if it’s perhaps due to my makeshift cusion which consists of a folded up pillow and a blanket. I’ve actually been eyeballing a meditation set called the Mountain Seat Zafu and Zabuton Set but it’s quite pricey at $185. Are all meditation related supplies this pricey?

Note that I started to wonder about the cushion during my sitting session.. not a good thing as my mind is still wandering around trying to find things to cling to. I’ve even modified my sitting position to face the wall, very similar to my first 20 sitting session at a local zen center. I have to admit, this was quite possibly one of the most grueling 20 mins I ever encountered in my life as my back hurt, my legs hurt, my ankles hurt and my mind was going nuts. I felt like I needed to jump up and shake my body around or something…

Speaking of mind, Tyson Williams wrote about the perfection of concentration which couldn’t have come at a better time. One of the things that continually enters my mind is the difference between calm abiding meditation (samatha) and insight meditation (vipassana). I know some buddhist traditions, especially the tibetan lines really emphasize that true enlightment can only be obtained within the practice of vipassana. I do understand the logic as the goal of this is to gain insight into the true nature and reality of whatever, but in my own understanding of zen traditions, the main focus is samatha and the intent is that samatha is enlightenment in and of itself. What then, is the role of vipassana within the zen tradition?

Another thing I really enjoy about the tibetan traditions is the emphasis on compassion and equinamity. I think they even have meditations that focus on compassion. I don’t recall this type of thing within the zen tradition, but it could be my ignorance too.

GTD-quan

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Being a somewhat long time practitioner of taiji (7 yrs) and a recent GTD convert, The Connection between GTD and Tai Chi, I never really made the association before between the principle and the form. It’s been drilled into me so many times how the outer form is not as important as understanding the principle. My first instructor once told me, “Do not copy my form, but seek to understand the principle”.

Looking inward, I do often see similarities of the problems I have in the 2 systems.

form:taiji::tool:gtd

How many times have I switched tools in GTD? A LOT! I seem to always want to try the new thing, try the new tool, change an existing tool, etc etc, which ultimately leads to not getting things done! This kinda reminds me of the KISASS (KISSASS stands for Keep It Simple, Slacker, And Stop Slacking) principle I recently read about. Quit slacking, quit finding excuses and just do. For GTD, I’ve settled on using the plain vanilla pda approach. This means strictly plain vanilla and no pigpog. This has worked out quite well and I am actually quite happy and content.

Taiji on the other hand is a whole different beast. I’ve often teeter tottered on various approaches. Ohh.. Chen Xiaowang does it this way but Chen Zhenglei does it like this.. or yang sytle does it this way but chen does it like this, etc etc. Joseph chen and kua this way, Chen Xiaowang and structure that way. I recently realized that I ultimately need to focus on principle and doing instead of debating and such. This recently lead to my resurgence of training in zhanzhuang. Getting down to the nitty gritty principle.

This should’ve clicked earlier to me but didn’t b/c during a silk reeling seminar with CXW, I had inquired about my posture of movement during a single handed silk reeling exercises. The first question he asked me was “Where is qi?” “Hand”, I replied. He then proceeded to open my hand a bit more, putting more intention into my hand. He then asked, “where qi go” and I replied, “hand, elbow, waist” and then he guided my hand and stopping at certain points repeating the path, “hand, elbow, waist”. Finally he asked, “Understand?” and I replied, “yes”.

So, it was the principle that guided the movement! The silk reeling seminar really drilled the principle of dantien rotations and qi paths while breaking the movements into 4 counts with the qi at different points. After the seminar, I did click with me he was really emphasizing what he thought was important.

As in GTD, with taiji I’ve come to terms. The importance is the principle, not the external movements but the principles guiding the movements. From what I gathered from CXW’s teachings, the important things are standing (zhanzhuang), silk reeling, and the training of the principles of 3 dantien rotations and qi intention during movements. And lately my practice has reflected that. The first thing I do in my training session is zhanzhuang (15 mins) and then work on at least 8 repitions per side of silk reeling (either single or double) and if I have time and I”m up to it, I will work on form. Last night, I just worked on the first section of the laojia yilu focusing on my central equilibrium and posture within the movements.

So, I don’t really care if I’m on the right path or not or if there is another path that’s better. I know that I am happy and content working on the material that I have and I have a long way to go before perfecting the principles.